Well, I'm back.
Maybe I'll be able to work this thing out once a month. By that approximation, this is your February update and I hope it's satisfying.
Dave Ray found me a job. I didn't do any looking at all. I just went to church and he said, 'There's this guy I know--he's an attorney and he's looking for an assistant.' Guess what I do 20 hours a week? I'm an assistant for an attorney. I love it. I was terrified at first, and at times I still find myself a little scared that I'll do something wrong, but at the end of the day, there are so many things I want to do in that small office to make his life easier. It outweighs the fear. Also, I'm officially over my fear of calling people on the phone. I started the last week of January and I've gotten over a life-long fear in less than fifteen days. It's incredible.
Also, I've started exercising. I know that this is a big shocker, so let me say that again for all of those who think they've read wrong. I've begun e-x-e-r-c-i-s-i-n-g. I run around the block everyday after work. That's mostly for my lungs--because, lets face it, if someone WAS chasing me, I'd last about a quarter of a mile. (Explanation of that last sentence: I found myself wondering, if I had to run away from someone, or from something, how far could I get before I couldn't run anymore simply because I ran out of breath? I realized--not far, I should work on that.) Mom and I exercise 3 days a week after she gets home from work (unless there are crazy schedule changes). It is also my goal to be able to touch my feet by the end of March. (I'm not particularly flexible.) I haven't been able to do this in YEARS and I'm working on it.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I decided that every year from here on out I needed to do something amazing. I decided this for a couple of reasons: first, there are so many things I want to do--if I don't start now, they'll never get done. Second, my sisters are better than I was at their age, if I don't keep raising the bar they'll pass me up and I really really really don't like the idea of that. I will remain victorious. (Love you, guys.)
Now you're wondering--how are any of these things amazing?
Let me tell you.
It's not about being amazing to everyone else--its about doing things I've never done before. I turned 20 in 2009, (which sucked. 20 is old.) and so I decided I needed to do something--I went to Europe without my family. Its not that other people don't go to Europe, it's not even that other people don't go to Europe alone, or that other people haven't been to Europe alone without their families by 20 (sorry that's confusing, just read it again). It's that I never really thought it was possible for ME to go to Europe alone EVER. But I did. I never had a bucket list. I never had dreams. That sounds awful because I was raised in a good house, with plenty of everything. But sometimes dreams are just easier not to have because that way if you don't get them, you're not let down. Europe just didn't ever seem like a possibility. London? Paris? Rome? Please. LIVE in Europe? Please. So, I did it.
Now it's 2010, and in the spirit of every female's new years resolutions, I'd like to say: I've never lost weight.
Okay, my freshman year of high school I started swimming for class, and in an afterschool program and I toned up pretty nicely. But that was 9th grade. Then last year, Sophomore year of college, I started eating smaller portions and I lost weight then too, but that wasn't really on purpose. I've never thought to myself--you should be disciplined, eat better, exercise more, look the way you want to look. I've just never REALLY tried. I've sort of tried, and very much failed, but never REALLY tried. So I'm really trying now. It's something I've never done before. And its working. Who knew?
I've never worked for an attorney before. It's actually useful for my major--good experience--and I love that too. It's what I wanted, the reason why I decided not to go back to Nestle was because I wanted to do something toward my major and although I had NO idea what that would be at the time, it's what I'm doing. How does that happen?
I still want to write. I still want to watch movies, and maybe study film. I still love to take and edit pictures, and I love staying up late with my sisters (when the buggers don't have to go to sleep at 8:30 or whatever un-godly hour they disappear), and I love having great conversations, I still make breakfast foods consistently, and I might always sleep on the couch. I might not be in London, or publishing a book, or even going to school. But right now, I'm doing some things I never thought possible. Maybe its okay to be satisfied with JUST that.